How to Use a Body Pillow to Support Your Shoulder and Hip on Your Side

For years I woke up with the same three complaints: a stiff right shoulder, an achy right hip, and a neck that felt like it had been holding up something heavy all night. I am a side sleeper, I have been one my whole life, and I was starting to wonder if my side was just done with me. I tried the usual things. I stacked two ordinary pillows, I bought a firmer pillow, I tried sleeping on my back for a week and gave that up by Wednesday. Nothing fixed the shoulder and nothing helped the hip. Then I tried a full body pillow, specifically the Utopia Bedding Full Body Pillow for Side Sleepers, and the first night I noticed a difference I did not expect: my top arm stayed where I put it, my shoulder stopped rolling forward, and my hip finally had something to lean against.

This is not a medical claim and I am not a doctor. I am a 61-year-old retired school librarian who has slept on her side for decades, and I am telling you what worked for me. If your shoulder, hip, or neck pain is ongoing, please mention it to a doctor or a physical therapist. No pillow fixes an injury. But if your problem is the ordinary one, the one where your body just needs something to lean on all night, a body pillow is a simple thing to try, and this is exactly how I set mine up.

Step 1: Start with your head pillow, not the body pillow

The body pillow does not replace your head pillow. It works with it. For me, the order matters. I get my head pillow settled first, because if my neck is not lined up, nothing else feels right. I use a curved pillow that I adjusted in the first week by taking out some of the shredded foam fill, because the loft was a little high for my neck. I remember the Tuesday night I finally got it right. I had woken up with a sore neck three mornings in a row, so I took out a handful of the shredded foam fill, laid back down, and the difference was immediate. My neck felt level for the first time in weeks. I do not know your pillow, so I will just say this: whatever you use under your head, get it to the height where your neck feels level, not tilted up and not dropped down.

Then I lie on my side, mostly my right side, and I get comfortable before I bring the body pillow into place. This sounds like a small thing, but it is the difference between the pillow working and the pillow becoming a thing you shove out of the way at 2 a.m. Get your head settled first and the rest of the setup is easy.

One honest note: the Utopia Bedding body pillow is a soft, plush pillow, not a firm one. That is what makes it comfortable to hug, but it also means it is a support pillow, not a wedge. If you are looking for something to prop you up at an angle, this is not that pillow. For side sleeping, soft is what you want.

Step 2: Lie on your side and hug the pillow along the front of your body

This is the move that changed everything for me. I lie on my side and I hug the Utopia Bedding body pillow along the front of my body, from my chest down to my knees. The pillow is 20 by 54 inches, so it runs the whole length of me. It cradles my chest, my stomach, and my hips, and it gives my top arm a place to rest instead of dangling forward or tucking under me.

The reason this helps my shoulder is simple. When I slept without it, my top shoulder rolled forward during the night, and I would wake up with it stiff and sore. With the pillow in front of me, my top arm drapes over the top edge of the pillow, and my shoulder stays stacked instead of rolling. The pillow is filled with plush polyester and wrapped in a soft, breathable fabric, so it stays lofty through the night instead of flattening into a useless pancake.

It also keeps me from rolling forward onto my stomach. I did not realize how much I was doing that until I had something in the way. Now when I start to roll, I roll into the pillow, and I settle back onto my side without ever fully waking up.

The first night I used it, I woke up once around 3 a.m. because I had rolled toward the middle of the bed and the pillow had moved with me. I pulled it back against my chest, and that was the only time I woke up all night. Before the body pillow, I was waking up two or three times a night to shake out my arm. The pillow is 54 inches long and 20 inches wide, which sounds like a lot of pillow, but it stays on my side of the bed. Gary's side never changed.

Step 3: Put a knee pillow between your knees

The body pillow handles my shoulder and my top arm, but my hip needed its own fix. When I slept on my side without anything between my knees, my top leg dropped, my pelvis twisted, and my right hip took the strain. I use a small knee pillow between my knees every night, and it keeps my top knee from dropping. That one small change took more pressure off my hip than anything else I tried.

You do not need a fancy knee pillow. A firm bed pillow folded in half can work in a pinch, though it tends to slide. The reason I use a dedicated knee pillow is that it stays where I put it. The point is to keep your top knee stacked on top of your bottom knee, not flopped forward onto the mattress.

Here is the thing nobody tells you: the body pillow and the knee pillow do different jobs. The body pillow is for the front of your body, the knee pillow is for between your legs. If you try to use the body pillow for both, you will spend all night wrestling it. Use them together and each one does its own job.

I learned this the hard way. For the first few nights with the body pillow, I did not use anything between my knees, and I still woke up with my right hip aching. It was not until I added the Contour Legacy knee pillow that the hip pain backed off. I remember the morning I noticed it, about a week after I added the knee pillow: I sat up and my hip did not complain. That had not happened in months.

Step 4: Adjust the top edge so your arm rests at shoulder height

The most common mistake I see people make with a body pillow is leaving the top edge too low or too high. If the top of the pillow is down near your ribs, your arm has nothing to rest on and your shoulder rolls forward anyway. If it is shoved up under your chin, your neck is miserable by morning.

I aim for the top edge of the pillow to sit right around the middle of my chest, so when I drape my top arm over it, my arm is roughly at shoulder height. That keeps my shoulder in a neutral position instead of scrunched up or stretched out. It takes a minute or two of fiddling the first few nights, and then it becomes automatic.

If you wake up with a numb arm, the pillow is probably too low, so your arm is bearing weight at a bad angle. If you wake up with a sore neck, the pillow is probably too high. Adjust it a few inches at a time and pay attention to what your body tells you in the morning.

Step 5: Give it a week before you decide

The first night with a body pillow feels strange. You are not used to having something the length of your whole body in bed with you. I almost gave up on the second night because I kept reaching for it and missing. By the fourth night, I stopped noticing it. By the end of the first week, I noticed it only when I tried to sleep without it.

I bought mine in the first week of April, and I can tell you the exact morning I knew it was working. It was a Thursday, about ten days in. I had fallen asleep on my right side with the pillow hugged against me, and I woke up to my alarm, which I had not done in months. No stiff shoulder, no numb arm, no feeling like I had been wrestling the mattress all night. I lay there for a minute and just appreciated it.

I have used this pillow every night for about seven months now. It has not gone flat, it has not developed a lump, and it still feels as soft and lofty as it did in the first week. The fabric is 100 percent polyester and the care instructions say to spot clean it, which is honest, because a pillow this size is not going in my washing machine.

The other thing I will tell you is that my husband Gary, who sleeps on his back and runs warm, does not even notice the body pillow is there. It stays on my side of the bed. That was a real concern for me before I bought it, and it turned out to be a non-issue. I had read reviews that said a body pillow takes over the whole bed, so I was ready to fight for my half. Instead, the pillow is 20 inches wide, and it fits neatly along my side with room to spare. Gary has never once complained, and he would absolutely tell me if he noticed.

What Else Helps

The body pillow is the centerpiece, but it is not the whole story. I also put a 3-inch cooling gel memory foam topper on our six-year-old medium-firm queen mattress, because the mattress was too firm under my shoulder and hip. The topper softens it and helps me run less hot. I use a cooling crescent pillowcase on my head pillow so my cheek stays cooler. And I keep the knee pillow between my knees every single night. None of these things is dramatic on its own. Together, they add up to a full night of sleep without waking up stiff.

By the fourth night I stopped noticing the pillow. By the end of the first week, I noticed it only when I tried to sleep without it.

If you only want to change one thing, start with the body pillow. It is the least complicated piece of the setup and the one that made the biggest difference for my shoulder and my top arm. The topper and the knee pillow are refinements. The body pillow is the foundation.